Control & Flexibility
Describe a time when you reevaluated a rhythm or routine. What happened?
When you spend so much time in the car it gives you lots of time away from distractions (theoretically) and when we decided that all the boys would go to school that would require 40 minutes in the car it required a shift in what my day would look like. Then when the opportunity came up to work at my dream job I had to do another reevaluation of what my time at home would look like since it would be much more limited than what I have ever known.
And then, my dear friend asked if I would run a marathon with her. . .talk about a major reconfiguring of routines! I struggled to figure out the time I would get these long runs in to prepare myself for something I have never imagined myself doing. Amidst all of this, I am quite frequently wondering if or what I am letting drop and I find I'm worried that my kids are the ones suffering. I always hear that kids suffer when mom does too much, but then there is also the advice "you need some time just for you" - so which of these is more accurate? Which matters more and if it's both then how do I balance it?
I don't think there is a balance like what we imagine, but more of a juggling act of grace in how we can make time in a given situation for which priority has precedence at that moment. I can schedule and plan out my calendar each day, but if I can't allow for any grace in flexibility then my world will constantly feel like it is spiraling down a rabbit hole of chaos.
If you want to know what this looks like, I will probably give a different answer every time. I enjoy having a calendar that looks perfectly planned, but there have been too many times in the past that I have let ruined plans give me more heartache (and headaches!) than they deserve.
There has been a whole lot of trial and error when it comes to practicing this juggling act. I saw once someone said that the motherhood juggling act is comprised of glass and plastic balls - the glass are ones that can not be dropped, for obvious reasons, but the plastic ones are ok to drop because they will bounce and when there's a moment to stop you can pick it back up.
What if you feel as though there isn't a moment to stop? What if it rolls away and it's lost?
We have to allow ourselves a break - we HAVE to stop juggling otherwise we won't be able to keep up the act at all. So instead of glass or plastic balls, maybe we make sure we are standing on a nice soft pile of straw. Maybe we have a landing area surrounding us - a support system - that can be a safe place that allows us to drop those balls for more than a moment that will give us the time to rest before the next act begins.
All of the circumstances that I shared above have been a lesson in relying on a support system willingly because I don't want my own situation to become so precarious that I don't have that soft pile of straw so when things drop - and they will - it all shatters.
It starts with making time to deepen my relationship with Christ the first priority. Without this being a priority nothing else will be coming from a place of rest and peace and I won't even notice when the act is starting to fail until the pieces are laying around my shattered. Then having the conversations with those that would be my support system or making a concentrated effort to reach out to a would-be support system. I have been extremely blessed in being surrounded by supportive family and a somewhat pre-set system, but I have had to get outside of my comfort zone in finding like-minded friends, too. I have so admired friends that have moved to a new place and are adept at reaching out to ask for help. I am not saying they have it all figured out, too, but I do know that if I were in such a situation I would struggle immensely with meeting new people.
One of my biggest God moments is when we decided to move back to my husband's family ranch and in my mind, it was sooner than what we had originally "planned." But as I look back (hindsight and all that) I realize that if we had stayed where we were - far away from family, not a huge group of friends in our similar lifestyle (new baby) - I would have struggled immensely. When our oldest was just 3 months old, we moved, and even though those first few months were hard, once we got into the swing of things I was able to see the blessing of having that pre-set system that I didn't even know at the time that I needed.
What does any of this have to do with reevaluating my rhythm or routine? When I have something big that will drastically affect my normal routine - ie training for a marathon - my first stop is checking in with that support system. My husband, my mother-in-law, my mom, and friends with kids of similar ages, then I look at the calendar and decided how things can possibly line up to work out. AND then, most of all, I remind myself that the grace of flexibility is a gift that I need to extend not only to that support system but also to myself, knowing that there are times my body will require me to slow down no matter what the schedule says.
