Celebrate
(verb) - to honor (an occasion) especially by refraining from ordinary business; to mark (something, such as an anniversary) by festivities or other deviation from routine; to hold up for public notice (Merriam-Webster.com)
What do you celebrate? For reals, think back to the last time you celebrated something for yourself; called a friend to share the news; rewarded yourself with praise - when has that happened?
And how big was it?
Like saving up a significant amount of money? Lifting a certain weight or running long distance? Maybe loosing weight to fit into those old jeans?
CONGRATULATIONS!
Did you call anyone to celebrate when you lost the first five pounds? How well did you praise yourself when you were able to do just one rep with a heavier weight? Or when you by-passed the sale section just so you wouldn’t tempt yourself to spend where you didn’t need to?
Do you celebrate the seemingly “small” victories?
“Never underestimate the power of small consistent wins whose effects compound over time.”
We cheer for our child’s first steps just as vehemently as their first basket or steal or home run. We try to focus on reminding them of what they are doing right and that CONSISTENCY will lead to that success. We celebrate consistent good grades and reports with praise or even prizes. And when they reach that you can see the determination in their eyes to do what they can to get the next one.
When AND WHY, does this stop? This praising of consistency that leads to success. The celebration of each little win, little milestone that helps us to become better versions of ourselves - when did that become condemnation that we aren’t as far as we should be or that it’s taken “too” long to be successful?
Have you ever said to your kid “would you want to hear your friend tell you that?” (for me its usually after one has said something mean to his brother).
Next time, I want you to say that to yourself when the thoughts going through you head are something along the lines of:
“Why haven’t I figured this out yet?” - “When will you finally lose that last 5 lbs?” - “Why can you still not keep yourself on budget?” - “Why can’t you just stick to it?!”
How would you feel if your friend said that to you? And we wonder why our society is struggling with mental health.
NOW, before I go further I’m throwing in a disclaimer: I understand and support the need to vent and get things off your chest. (Master level venter here!) However, venting the struggle, even though it sounds negative, is not a battle against yourself in your thoughts. Sometimes venting helps to bring thoughts we didn’t even know we were thinking to light and gives the opportunity to work through those with a trusted friend.
Back to the subject - what do you need to celebrate? Ask those closest to you and see what they have to say.
This is another reason why community is so important to me. WE aren’t meant to do this all alone. Your “village” will believe in you when you doubt yourself. AND, BONUS, you all get to celebrate together when that hard thing is accomplished. After the half-marathon I ran - that I did not feel prepared for - the best part was getting to celebrate with popsicles and cupcakes; I had the most amazing burger ever (that meal after a hard run literally tastes so amazing!) and I ENJOYED it ALL with the ones who pushed and supported me during not only training, but the race, too. And we celebrated each other when each miles closer to the goal was accomplished… EACH. MILE. As in one mile at a time was celebrated…together.
I wonder if we reframe our words to say "let's celebrate this win" instead of "I deserve this" that there wouldn't be as much shame attached to it. Because, when it really comes down to it "deserving" gives off negative vibes - like a fairness thing. We all know life isn't fair at all, BUT life can be full of little celebrations when we show ourselves we can accomplished the hard things that life (or we ourselves) throw our way.
So, one last time, what do you need to celebrate today?
